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The Back Door

by Balls Deep In Your Stepmom

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Christopher Neal
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1.
In Orbit Deserved 02:17
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Over sunlight & sky Under moonlight & stars I’m never from where you are I’m never far from you Or what you want me to Looking down at the Earth I’m in orbit deserved But I can pinpoint where you are I can still feel your heart I’m coming home to you I’ll try to land next to you Passing down through the clouds All of our memories loud Here I am coming back to you Like we were 22 and everything was new I’m coming back to you I’ll try to land next to you I’m coming back to you I’ll try to land next to you
2.
No Water In The Canteen 02:05
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No water in the canteen to cool the burn in my eyes I walked across the desert until the water was dry I could not see that I would be the end of you I could not lead without belief or without you I couldn’t stop the burning sun from hating you Now all that’s left is just the rest of me for you No water in the canteen to replace the tears in my eyes You were only 33 but when you left it was like 2 of us died I could not see that I would be the end of you I could not lead without belief or without you
3.
Sightlines 03:35
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I’m seeing clearly I’m seeing clearly now I’m seeing clearly I’m seeing clearly now I’m seeing clearly I’m seeing clearly now I can see right through to you I can see right through to you I can see right through to you I can see right through to you I’m seeing clearly You’re still running away I’m feeling dirty I wish you’d only stay What did I do to get through into you? What if my inside’s all outside of you? Too proud to beg but I’m too wound to lose I’m trying to find the words but it’s hard to choose.
4.
Unbreakable 03:30
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Sit Sit and wait And wait And wait… Sit…..sit and wait….. You’re breaking the rules But I am following you There is no length I won’t go There is no tie that will hold There is nothing you can do To keep me from you Sit and wait… Sit and wait…………. Sit and wait………………………. Sit and wait for me You’re breaking the rules But both my eyes are on you There is no move you can make To put an end to this game There is nothing you can do To keep me from you To keep me from you There is no time to confess Or get this weight off my chest There is nothing you can do To keep me from you
5.
I Exist For U 03:55
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December 5th 2000 and 4 I remember driving in your car Passing by closed stores and open bars I found my way into your heart And now it’s 8 years later 2012 The way you speak still makes me melt and Now, how could I describe everything that I’ve felt? My heart is locked inside your cell How would my life be without you here? That will always be my worst fear One I’ll never realize if you stay near This love we have is our career When it’s 8 years later, looking back I enjoyed every second that we had You were what I was missing, you filled in the gaps And you ignored my checkered past Supportive, you have always been You’re the only one that I really let in You don’t run away scared, or even miss A single word and I exist I exist For u I exist Only…only…for u
6.
The Grind 03:15
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I, I, I, I’m stuck in the grind I’m doing my time but I’m trying to find a reason why I’ve been wasting my time I’ve been telling you lies so I could try to hide the meanings deep inside Oh oh oh-oh oh Could you be my reason why? Oh oh-oh oh Could you be my reason why? Could you decipher the code? I wrote a note to you, I tried to explain what I’m going through But I was wasting your time With a page full of lies that I have tried my best to write the truth disguised Oh oh oh-oh oh Could you be my reason why? Oh oh-oh oh Could you be my reason why? I,I,I,I’m stuck in the grind I’m doing my time living inside my mind deep inside But I’m still wasting my time, I’m still questioning why When I have tried so hard to only realize Oh oh oh-oh oh Could you be my reason why? Oh oh-oh oh Could you be my reason why?
7.
Dark Blue House 01:17
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You will live in a dark blue house With a storm cloud in your mouth Over judgements spoken loud They don’t care what you think about They don’t care what you think about You will live in a dark blue house All alone but you’re not let down
8.
This Time We Spend Together Dying 03:44
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9.
The Winter's Divide 04:51
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20 miles that I could Walk along beside you But you could come with me It would be just like it used to be before Your sapphire eyes say It could never be the same And as I watched tears fall I wondered how I never saw them once before Or that look on your face… I have found Another way to get out Away from you now And I have lost What can never be found Am I losing you now? Am I losing you now? The way I see it now is So much different than I Felt when we were through The things I said & things that I would do And your last letter said, “I think this for the best” Ended so tragically... I wondered how these cold words ever find the heat Do you feel? Do you feel? Do you feel? Do you feel? Do you feel? Do you feel? Do you feel me now? You have found Your way to get out Your way to get out and run from me I can’t stop All my cryings aloud The silence makes them way too loud
10.
This Applies To You 01:51
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11.
Where It Should Be 03:10
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12.
To Sleep 01:50
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It’s time to separate It’s time to celebrate, c’mon This moment will not wait For tomorrows just todays, I know I must start breaking out I know I can’t keep breaking down, c’mon I can’t keep making plans when I Can’t read the legends I design Here we go… No time to sit and wait I’ve got to change the game I’ve played It’s tired just the same No tomorrow repeat today, I know It’s up to me to change I know I just can’t be the same old me I can’t keep waking up when I Have never gone to sleep I need to realize this dream I need to realize this dream
13.
How Far Could It Go? 02:32
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“It’s not so simple now,” she said, oh-oh “I’ve got these pictures in my head, you know?” I could see the end and how it went, oh-oh 2 kids a car, a picket fence... Oh-no Oh-no But I’d do it all again for you But I’d do it all again for you But I’d do it all again for you But I’d do it all again for you “This changes everything,” she said, oh-oh “I still see you with me in my bed, you know?” I hit the message send and out it goes, oh-oh The morning comes and it’s time to find my clothes... Oh-no Oh-no
14.
I Thought I Knew... 03:29
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Driving home in the snow could lead back to you Come inside by the fireplace to the place you knew I thought I knew I thought I could love you too I thought that we could be A miraculous recovery I thought I knew I thought you could love me too I thought I knew I thought I knew…. Driving home in the snow could lead back to you Come inside by the fireplace cause I still want you I still want you I thought I knew I thought I could love you too I thought that we would be A genuine discovery I thought I knew I thought you could love me too I thought I knew, uh huh I thought I knew….
15.
Too Many Shovels 04:11
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And like an earthquake you break inside You’re coming down from sky to ground And it’s gonna take you all in time You’ll see that I have been too right In your head I could be just like you And like a heartbreak you die inside There’s nothing left to compromise And it’s really fake, these plastic smiles You’ll see that I have molded mine You crossed a line…… You…..you……. In your head I could be just like you In your head In your head I could be just like you In your head In your head I could be just like you I could be just like you…. I could be just like you…. I could be just like you…. I could be just like you….
16.
Attending Funerals 02:22
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I’m attending funerals Don’t ask me to get up and speak I can’t The fading lights they hide from me Physical telepathy in a world I understand This is a world I understand And I speak for the dead I’m attending funerals Don’t ask me for your time because I can’t…. The caskets and the families All serve to remind me Of a world I understand This is a world I understand And I speak for the dead I speak for the dead I speak for the dead I speak for the dead
17.
How I Remember That Day 04:10
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Intact like a heart attack I wish that I could bring back All of our summer plans Buried in the sand When you and I walked hand in hand Silently, you looked at me You were puzzling what to make of me I was all up in your head You formulate the plan We walk together holding hands And every time you look at me I blush And I didn’t think I could love someone so much And it rained that night we held each other close Under the stars tonight, you’re all that I can see And all the things that we collected on our own We can exchange and we can change to be complete We can exchange and we can change to suit our needs We’ll rearrange all of this strange insanity Wedding day, given away I think it was the best day That I’m ever going to have I’ll never forget your dad The way he looked or smile he had Silently, he had given me All of the advice I’d need While you were busy with the guests I’ll never forget what he said “I think this is as good as it gets!” And now every time it’s silent I go there. And it rained that night we held each other close Under the stars tonight, you’re all that I can see All of the things that we’ve been scared of on our own Will go away with vows exchanged when we’re married When we’re married Will go away with vows exchanged when we’re married When we’re married
18.
Unlikely 04:28
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Would you notice me if I let out a scream? If I told you a secret, as if you’d know what I mean... But I was thinking that you could do it better than me Yeah I was blinking and you...you could do it better than me Notice me, maybe see how I bleed If I told you a secret you would be dead just like me But I was thinking that you could send a message for me Yeah I was thinking that you could do it better than me Oh, unlikely Unlikely Unlikely Unlikely Would you notice me, I’ve been blowing off steam If I told you a secret I know it would make you scream I’m always thinking that you could do it better than me I’m always wishing that you could just do better than me However, unlikely I’m always thinking that you could do it better than me I’m always wishing that you could just do better than me However, unlikely
19.
You Used Me Up 02:20
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Sing along Let your light shine on You belong Right between these arms I can see now that you used me up And I can breathe now that I am free from you Sing along Don’t have to be alone You belong I’ll never let you go When I’m out of place I’m still at home with you And I just wanted to stay Far away from you Cause I can see now that you used me up And I can breathe now that I am free from you I can see now that you used me up
20.
Nothing Means Anything 02:51
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I look at my hands like mistakes Nothing means anything but this could be everything to me A simple direction of change when I’ve lost my mobility But this could mean everything to me Oh oh oh I may have lost my sensibility but this could mean everything to me Oh oh oh And if I’ve lost my credibility then nothing will mean anything to me Nothing will mean anything to me I’m losing my voice in the rain Shouting and calling you Yelling at the universe “I have changed!” And I have Oh, I have changed for you... I may have lost it temporarily but I will get it back again you’ll see And with our backs against the wall you’ll see that nothing can mean anything to me What can I say to be with you again? Nothing means anything But you are the everything to me But if you want it, I will walk away from you Because I may lose you temporarily but I will get you back again you’ll see And when you think there’s nothing left you’ll see that nothing can mean anything to me
21.
You Were Meant For Me 02:37
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I’m climbing up and over I won’t come down until you see Oh, that you belong to me You belong to me You were meant for me I’m pulling wool right over Both of your eyes so you can’t see Oh, and you would drive with me Away, the snow falling... And you were meant for me You were meant for me I’m trying to get over But I’m over-tired and I can’t sleep Oh, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just believe? That you were meant for me You were meant for me

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released July 1, 2013

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Balls Deep In Your Stepmom Vancouver, British Columbia

A couple of hacks with great intentions fail spectacularly throughout the years. Enjoy.

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